11 Vital Things To Discuss In A Godly Relationship {ASAP}

There are many important things you need to discuss as a Christian couple in a relationship before marriage. This post on the 11 vital things to discuss in a godly relationship before marriage will help you do just that.

Before choosing to marry someone, there are vital things you need to settle and discuss during your courtship or Christian dating period to avoid unnecessary disagreements that may stress your marriage life in the future.

Having such discussions during your dating or courtship period is one of the wisest things you can do for yourself as it will help you find out any potential relationship deal breakers that may be lurking beneath before tying the knot.

With that said, let’s look at the 11 important things to discuss in a godly relationship before even contemplating a godly marriage to avoid unnecessary problems with references to bible verses in both the old testament and the new testament.

11 Things To Discuss In A Godly Relationship.

Below are the 11 vital things you need to discuss as a Christian couple during your courtship-dating period seeking a godly marriage before tying the knot.

  • Your Christian Faith.
  • Children.
  • Whether You Are Truly Born Again.
  • Any Past Trauma.
  • What True Love Means To You.
  • The Topic of Godly Submission.
  • Your Relationship With God.
  • Honesty.
  • Trust.
  • Sexual Purity.
  • Conflict Resolution.

1. Your Christian Faith.

Before choosing a person to marry, you need to ensure that the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with shares the same faith you have to avoid unnecessary disagreements due to differing faiths you may have.

Being in a relationship with a person of the same Christian faith makes things easier and this is something you need to discuss in your Christian relationship before you think of marrying each other and the church you be going to as a couple.

Amos 3:2 in the Old Testament tells us that two people can’t walk together unless they agree. This is especially handy especially when deciding which primary faith your children want to be raised in after marriage.

Related: 75 Christian Faith Quotes (To Strengthen You In The Lord.)

2. Children.

The Bible in Psalms 127:3 tells us that children are a blessing from the Lord. The topic of having children needs to be discussed as a Christian couple in a godly relationship.

During your courtship, it is vital that you decide what number of children you want to have when you get married. The topic of children has torn many relationships and marriages as expectations weren’t laid bare before tying the knot.

For instance, you may only want one or two children but your partner wants 5. In this situation, you can how this can become a source of major contention in a relationship or marriage, which is why this needs to be discussed and laid to rest before marriage.

3. Whether You Are Truly Born Again.

Unbelievably, this is another crucial conversation you need to have in your Christian relationship as this can make or break your marriage life later on. If you want to have a godly marriage free from abuse and full of love, marry a saved person.

As a person who wants to marry a godly wife or godly husband, you need to be sure that the person you are marrying is saved as marrying an unsaved spouse has its own set of challenges and problems it brings due to the unequal yoke.

If the person you are dating isn’t saved, you may try to introduce Jesus Christ to them as our Lord Jesus Christ is willing to save anyone who believes in Him (Romans 10:9,10). If they refuse, you need to think twice about wanting to marry such a person.

Related: The Importance Of Being Born Again [And Why Care?]

4. Any Past Trauma.

If you have any past trauma, especially sexual trauma, it needs to be discussed with your future spouse so that you don’t bring any baggage into your marriage life that can affect both of you as a married couple.

For instance, if you had sexual trauma in the past, that can badly affect your physical intimacy in your marriage later on, which can be the main source of frustration, especially for men.

You need to seek therapy and godly counseling if you have a lot of past trauma so that you can fully heal from it and avoid your innocent future spouse from suffering for something he or she had nothing to do with which isn’t fair if you ask me.

5. What True Love Means To You.

The topic of true love is another vital topic or conversation you need to have in a relationship. Doing so will help you understand what your primary love languages are and how you want to be loved so that you can serve each other effectively.

For instance, if your love language is acts of service or sweet words of affirmation, and you end up marrying a person who doesn’t understand that, you will have issues sooner or later.

God’s word tells us in 1 John 3:18 in the New Testament that we must not just love in deeds but actions as well. You need to make it clear from the onset what true love means to you to avoid disappointments due to miscommunication in love languages.

Related: 17 (Must-Have) Characteristics Of True Love That’s Of God.

6. The Topic of Godly Submission.

The topic and conversation concerning godly submission in a godly marriage is something that needs to be discussed among Christian singles, as it’s a vital topic.

God’s word in Ephesians 5:22,23 tells us wives must submit to their husbands as unto the Lord just as the church is subject to our Lord Jesus Christ. If you marry a woman with feministic ideas, you will have a hard time as a man making your wife respect you.

In this age of modern feminism, it’s vital especially as a man looking for a godly wife find out during this stage whether your would-be wife you are currently dating is willing to submit to your headship as a husband in marriage.

Related: 15 (Must-Have Innate) Characteristics Of A Godly Wife.

7. Your Relationship With God.

Another important thing you need to discuss in a godly relationship is our relationship with God. This can be done through prayer, Bible study, and other activities that allow us to spend time with Him.

It’s vital that the person you intend to marry has the right standing with God. If the person you are marrying has a fractured relationship with God, they will give you a hard time when you marry.

You need to understand that your relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ is the most important relationship you can ever have that will set the foundation for other relationships you will ever have be it a marriage relationship.

8. Honesty.

In a godly relationship, honesty is an important part of the bond between partners. You need to agree on what is important in your relationship and then be willing to express those values when necessary.

It’s also good to make sure that both partners are on board with any changes that may take place in the future, so they’re not blindsided by them later on down the road.

A relationship built on lies and deceit is just like a house of cards that can crumble at any instant once the lies are discovered. If you are not honest with each other as a couple, you will find it hard to be open with each other on sensitive life matters.

9. Trust.

Trust is essential in any relationship, especially the one where two people have been dating for a while as it allows you to share personal information without worrying about whether or not it will be kept private or used against you later on down the line.

If you are to build a strong relationship and godly marriage later on as a married couple, you need to ensure that you trust each other and not treat each other with suspicions.

A marriage that lacks trust cannot stand the test of time, as you won’t find the point of wanting to share the vulnerable intimate parts of your life with a stranger you can’t trust though you sleep in the same house and same bed.

10. Sexual Purity.

The topic of sexual purity is another vital conversation you need to have in a godly relationship especially if you desire to pursue sexual purity and chastity.

You need to be clear with your partner that you won’t consent to sex before marriage as that’s against God’s word. 1 Corinthians 6:18 tells us to flee sexual immorality as it just brings shame, unwanted pregnancies, and STDs.

If your partner doesn’t want to pursue sexual purity but to discover your nakedness before walking down the aisle, you may need to consider ending the relationship with that person.

Related: How To Overcome Sexual Immorality (In 5 Easy Steps Today).

11. Conflict Resolution.

Last but not least, how you are going to handle marital conflicts when you get married is another vital conversation you need to discuss while in courtship and how to handle them as a godly married couple.

Whether you like it or not, conflicts are bound to happen in a marriage, as we are different and come from different backgrounds. The lack of proper conflict resolution skills among many married couples has ruined many marriages.

How you resolve your conflicts and misunderstandings that arise will make or break your marriage. You need to understand as a Christian couple that when you have a conflict, it’s not you against each other but against the problem.


I hope the above 11 vital things to discuss in a godly relationship before marriage will help you settle any pending issues that may be in your relationship before tying the know to avoid unnecessary problems when you marry.

In closing, if this post has been of great help to you, let me know in the comments below, and don’t forget to share before you leave. Stay blessed.

Further Reading.

Sharing is caring.


Leave a Comment