In this post, you are going to discover the 7 effective ways of dealing with red flags in a godly relationship when you encounter them.
Red flags are something you must not ignore in a Christian relationship when they pop up as that could be God’s message to you to pay attention to something serious.
By the end of this post, you will know the 7 ways of dealing with red flags in a godly relationship that will help you not ignore serious issues that can affect your future marriage.
7 Effective Ways Of Dealing With Red Flags.
Below are the 7 ways that will help you handle red flags that you may have encountered in your Christian relationship as a couple.
1. Don’t Ignore Them.
The first godly way you can handle any red flags you encounter in a godly relationship with your partner is not to ignore them before they become something serious.
While relationship red flags aren’t necessarily deal breakers, they can turn into ones if not attended to quickly before they develop into something serious.
It’s so sad that many Christians especially desperate Christian women who want to be loved by a man at all costs tend to ignore the red flags they see in their dream man saying they can change him.
Ignoring red flags is one of the sure things to do if you want to end up with an abusive partner or an abusive marriage may are in sadly which isn’t God’s will for you.
If you are currently in a relationship and have started spotting certain red flags like possessiveness or subtle abuse, address them immediately. If your partner refuses to change dodge the bullet by ending the relationship with that person.
2. Pray About It.
The second effective way of dealing with red flags in Christian relationships if they pop up is to pray about them so that God gives you wisdom on how to handle them in a godly manner.
If you are a single Christian currently dating in a relationship and have started noticing certain red flags that will present serious issues in your future marriage, pray about it.
Doing so will help you know whether you should continue that relationship with the person you are with or not especially when those red flags turn into something serious.
In certain situations, after praying, it becomes clear to you that being with the person you thought was the one isn’t a good idea when you start seeing their true colors manifest like abuse and control.
It’s why you need to be honest with yourself and be clear to your partner early on in your relationship as you date each other as to what things you are willing to tolerate from them and things that cross the red line.
3. Confront Your Partner.
The third effective way you can deal with red flags in your relationship when you notice them is by confronting your partner respectfully about their unhealthy behavior negatively affecting you in a relationship.
For instance, as you date as a Christian couple after some time, you may start noticing certain toxic and unhealthy traits you aren’t comfortable with such as subtle abuse in any form, anger issues, possessiveness, etc.
If that’s the case, you need to honestly confront your partner about it and how their unhealthy behavior is negatively impacting both of you relationship-wise to see what happens.
When the toxic partner you are in a relationship with refuses to address their issues even after you give them many chances for them to change for the better, I think it’s wise to part ways and break up at this point.
Otherwise, what’s the point of trying to be with the person in a relationship who is toxic and doesn’t want to change or doesn’t see anything wrong with how their toxic behavior is detrimental to you?
A person who truly loves you will address their issues if you confront them lovingly so that they can become a better partner and future spouse for you that you won’t regret marrying.
4. Communicate Effectively.
Honest and open communication is the cornerstone of healthy relationships. If you see red flags, don’t bottle them up as that’s a very unhealthy thing to do which will backfire eventually.
Choose a calm and respectful moment to talk to your partner about your concerns about how their unhealthy behaviors are negatively impacting your relationship as a couple in love.
Respectfully and lovingly explain how their toxic behavior is affecting you and what you need from them. Be clear and specific, using “I” statements to express your feelings.
For instance, instead of saying “You’re always so jealous,” try to say, “I feel insecure when you get upset about me talking to other people.” Active listening is also crucial at this moment.
Kindly pay attention to what your partner is saying and try to see things from their perspective instead of hastily judging them before taking time to listen to what they are trying to say.
If even after doing your best to communicate effectively, your partner refuses to see issues in how they treat you, then kindly break things off with such a self-centered toxic person as they aren’t worth your time.
5. Set Boundaries.
Setting healthy boundaries in your relationship early on is one of the most effective ways to address red flags you have spotted in your partner.
You must understand that just because you are a Christian doesn’t mean you are a doormat nor does it mean you must tolerate toxic behaviors from people that are detrimental to your own emotional well-being.
Healthy boundaries are essential for protecting your well-being in any relationship. Identify your limits, what you can tolerate, and what makes you uncomfortable.
This could be anything from needing personal space to having certain expectations around healthy communication or privacy. Once you know your boundaries, communicate them clearly to your partner.
For example, you might say, “I need some time alone to unwind after work,” or “I would appreciate it if you don’t go through my phone or talk to me like that, dear.”
If your partner disregards your boundaries by trying to manipulate or gaslight you, it’s a significant red flag you must take seriously as that’s a tale-tale sign you are dealing with a covert narcissist you need to run away from fast.
Related: 7 Vital Boundaries You Must Have In Godly Relationships.
6. Learn About Healthy Relationships.
Sometimes, especially early in our dating lives as immature Christians in a rush to be in a romantic relationship, we might not have a clear picture of what a healthy relationship looks and feels like.
And that’s fertile ground for abusive narcissists to take advantage of you by capitalizing on your ignorance of how healthy relationships must look like by convincing you abuse is love.
Take some time to educate yourself about what healthy godly relationships look like so that you don’t fall victim to abusive relationships and toxic partners in the name of love.
There are many Christian resources available online, in church, and the libraries that discuss healthy relationship dynamics, communication styles, and conflict resolution.
You can also look for godly articles or books by reputable Christian therapists or relationship experts who can guide you on what healthy relationships look like with their wisdom and experience.
The more you know about healthy relationships, the better equipped you’ll be to spot red flags and get rid of any toxic relationships and partners that are destructive to your physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being.
Related: 7 Ideal Ways Of Developing Healthy Godly Relationships.
7. Breakup If Nothing Changes.
Lastly, sometimes, the best way of handling red flags in a relationship when you spot them as a Christian is simply to get rid of the abusive toxic relationship you are in for good.
Sadly, this is something you have to do at times for your well-being. You need to understand that it’s not your job to share and fix someone’s character issues as you aren’t their rehab.
It’s why there are rehabs to serve such a purpose. So many times many Christians especially women put themselves in situations that are destructive to their well-being in relationships in the name of love.
These desperate Christian single women especially those who grew up without a father figure in their lives justify their abusive partner by saying they love him or they can change him.
However, if you are such a young single Christian woman reading this you must remember that changing a person isn’t in your power as you can’t change someone unwilling to do so.
If you find yourself in abusive situations where your partner doesn’t want to change their unhealthy behaviors, breaking up is at times the only logical solution to get away from drama.
Related: 7 Major Reasons Why God Allows Breakups In Relationships.
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Conclusion.
The above 7 ways of dealing with red flags in a godly relationship as a Christian are one of many out there that will help you not ignore serious issues in your relationship.
If God shows you red flags in a person, don’t ignore them no matter how much you are in love with a person if you don’t want to make mistakes many have and are now in miserable marriages.
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