7 Vital Rules Of Christian Courtship Couples Must Follow

In this divinely inspired post, I will share with you the 7 vital rules of Christian courtship that you must follow as a couple intending to get married.

These rules will help you marry right and avoid unnecessary heartbreaks and frustrations that come when you do things the wrong way rather than God’s way.

Courtship is a crucial period for every single couple before marriage and the 7 courtship guidelines below will help you understand what you should and shouldn’t do during that period.

7 Golden Guidelines For Christian Courtship.

  • Avoid Premarital Sex.
  • Be Patient With Each Other.
  • Be Honest With Each Other.
  • Have Honest And Tough Adult Conversations.
  • Get Parental Consent.
  • Inform The Church.
  • Remember God’s Will.

1. Avoid Premarital Sex.

The first rule you must follow as a professing Christian couple is you must at no time indulge in premarital sex which is fornication 1 Corinthians 6:18 forbids and tells us to flee from.

As a single Christian brother and Christian sister in a Christian relationship during courtship, you need to be disciplined and not give way to fleshy passions to overrule your reasoning,

Yes, God knows you have sexual feelings as He’s the one who gave them to you but that doesn’t mean you must let your sexual feelings override your reasoning and make you behave like an animal.

Even in courtship, help each other to maintain sexual purity by being clear with each other that you will not undress and see each other’s nakedness before the marriage altar.

It’s so sad many Christian singles are defiling themselves with sexual immorality due to a lack of discipline and self-control. Have self-control and discipline your body, please. Wait till marriage to unveil each other.

As a single Christian lady, don’t spread your legs wide open to any guy who comes to you promising love or marriage if you sleep with them as love is not lust.

Conversely, as a Christian guy, be disciplined and don’t go on a breeding spree carelessly dumping your seed to every woman you see out there if you aren’t ready to be a father.

Check: Why Is Sexual Immorality A Sin & Such A Big Deal To God?

2. Be Patient With Each Other.

The second important rule you must follow while in courtship as a Christian couple as you look forward to Christian marriage is you must be patient with each other.

You must understand that even during courtship, issues and misunderstandings will arise due to the different backgrounds and upbringings both of you have which is to be expected.

For instance, as you court, you may discover some outstanding issues and misunderstandings, that you need to iron out before proceeding to marriage.

This could be differences in core values, conflict resolution skills, family issues, marriage expectations, or spiritual matters. In such situations, it’s easy to get frustrated and be impatient with each other.

As a Christian however, you must exercise grace and patience which are one of the vital fruits of the Spirit Galatians 5:22,23 talks about.

This will show that you are mature and ready for marriage as having a successful marriage is all about love, patience, and forbearance for each other as a married couple as none is perfect.

If you are impatient with each other even during minor disagreements in courtship, it shows you have a lot of maturity and growing up to do before you even think of marrying each other.

3. Be Honest With Each Other.

Thirdly, you must be honest with each other in your relationship as you get to know each other on your courtship journey. If you don’t, your lies and dishonesty will backfire in the future.

Be honest with your partner about what you expect of them in marriage and the things you won’t tolerate. Being dishonest during courtship is the reason why many Christian marriages are in problems.

Courtship is also the period where you need to tell your partner about your past that may affect your future marriage.

For example, if you have past sexual trauma or addictions, you need to be open about that to your partner rather than hiding that vital information with the intent of deceiving your partner.

If you are not honest with your partner during courtship, it will just cause future problems in your marriage especially if your partner discovers that you hid something from them.

Being dishonest with yourself and your partner in courtship is not only unfair to yourself but also to your partner whom you are leading to have a false impression of you.

Don’t try to be who you are not just because you want marriage. If you are meant to be together, nothing in this world will stop you from doing that.

4. Have Honest And Tough Adult Conversations.

Additionally, another important rule you must follow as a Christian couple during courtship is don’t be afraid to have tough and mature adult conversations as you are grown adults for God’s sake.

Don’t be afraid of being direct with each other on certain important issues that have the potential to affect your future marriage.

Tough discussions such as sexual compatibility, gender roles, marriage expectations, and what love means to you, in general, must be discussed before you even think of marrying each other.

Doing so will from the onset help you know if you are a good fit for each other. For example, you need to be honest about how you view physical intimacy and how vital that is to you.

You must be honest about how many times you want sexual intimacy to occur in your Christian marriage. Having this information will help determine if you are sexually compatible.

Issues of how you view love and what love means to you must be discussed as well because we all have different love languages and we all want to be loved in a certain way.

There is nothing worse than marrying someone who can’t speak your love language. You will never experience true love if you marry a person who doesn’t understand your love language.

5. Get Parental Consent.

Another important guideline you need to follow if you are courting a sister, especially as a Christian brother is your first need to get parental consent that you want to see their daughter and intend to marry her.

Parental consent is important as it will help parents from both sides of your family to know your relationship status and that you intend to marry each other so that necessary preparations can be made for your wedding.

Since as Christians, we are told in 1 Corinthians 14:40 to do things decently and in order, you must not secretly court another sister in the church as a brother as that will cause unnecessary problems.

Getting parental consent will also help you get the marital blessings you need in your future marriage from both parents and help you know if they approve of your relationship.

If you are having difficulties in getting parental consent which will happen sometimes, just pray to God about it so that you know how to wisely handle such a situation.

It’s unfortunate to see many so-called Christian brothers rush things and want to ignore this important step in their courtship journey which isn’t right.

Be patient and just do the right thing and everything will be fine. If you try to cut corners and do your own thing, you may just be digging your own grave into marital misery.

6. Inform The Church.

Informing the church about your relationship status in the early stages of courtship as a Christian single man especially is vital so that the church can be aware of your courtship and make necessary preparations for your marriage.

If you don’t inform the church or your church leader about your relationship status as your dating period transitions to serious courtship, it may bring unnecessary problems.

For example, you may have a situation where different Christian brothers have an interest in one sister which has happened a lot even in my church which is expected if you don’t do things orderly.

Now in this delicate situation, just think about how quickly things can get complicated especially if you as a brother discover the sister in the Lord you are courting is also seeing other brothers without you knowing.

This is why you need to inform the church if you start getting interested in a particular sister so that mature church leaders can advise you if the sister you are pursuing has already been taken or booked.

You can have as many as 10 Christian brothers interested in one sister. This happens more often than you think because this is something I have heard and witnessed many times in my church.

That is why to avoid unnecessary heartbreaks and possible hostilities in church, inform your leaders if a particular sister is capturing your heart and making you want to marry her.

7. Remember God’s Will.

Last but not least as you look forward to being a Christian wife as a single Christian woman and a godly husband as a single Christian brother, let God’s will come first in your relationship as you court.

You must seek God’s will for your marriage during courtship and ask God if the person you are courting is the one He wants you to marry.

Not pursuing God’s will in marriage will make you end up marrying the person God didn’t intend for you to marry.

You need to remember that a broken courtship is better than a broken and unhappy marriage which is nothing but a maximum prison cell. I bet you don’t want to end up in such a miserable marriage existence.

By pursuing God’s will and putting it first in your Christian relationship during dating and courtship, you may discover that the person you are courting may just not be a good fit for you as a life partner.

If that’s the case, don’t despair as that happens even in a Christian relationship especially if you find out you can’t agree on a lot of things or your personalities are just polar opposites.

Remember, courtship is a period of discovery which is why you must not be surprised if you experience a few breakups before meeting the right person to marry finally which is better in the long run.

Check: 7 Easy Ways On How To Know God’s Will In Your Relationship.

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Conclusion.

I hope the above 7 rules of Christian courtship every godly couple must follow before marriage will help you do things God’s way so you can marry right and avoid making costly mistakes.

If you are in courtship, I pray that the Lord Jesus Christ helps you do the right thing so that you can marry according to God’s will without incident and have a happy godly marriage.

In closing, if this post has edified you, comment below, and don’t forget to share as you leave using the share icon to your right. God bless.

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