In this divinely inspired post, you are going to discover the 10 vital godly relationship red flags you must not ignore once spotted if you don’t want to end up with an abusive partner.
As a Christian single person, it’s very important not to ignore the red flags the Lord is trying to show you early in your relationship as most do making them end up in abusive relationships.
At the end of this article, you will know the 10 crucial red flags in godly dating to not ignore that will help you not make the mistakes many have made in this area causing them to be in abusive marriages.
10 Relationship Red Flags To Not Ignore.
1. Abuse.
One of the first red flags you must not ignore especially as a young single godly woman who may be dating for marriage is any abuse of any kind be it physical, emotional, spiritual, or verbal.
As a young Christian woman, you must understand that true love isn’t abusive and doesn’t hurt at all. Only fake Satanic love hurts.
I am saying this because I hear a lot of Christian women with low self-esteem who justify being in an abusive relationship in the name of love.
You must understand that a man who truly loves you won’t abuse you and if you are in an abusive relationship, I pray you get out of that abuser before things get worse. Don’t ever think you can change him, please.
Check: 10 Clear Signs God Wants You To Leave A Toxic Relationship
2. Incompatibility In Core Values.
The second red flag you must not ignore in you are dating in a Christian relationship is how you align in values as that will determine if you can live together or not in harmony.
Amos 3:2,3 tells us that two people can’t be together unless they agree. It’s why you need to be on the same page and agree with your partner on vital issues and values you both stand on.
Only then will you be able to be together relationship-wise and have a successful drama-free marriage in the future.
Otherwise, your relationship won’t last long as you will find it impossible to be together if you fatally misalign on vital issues such as faith, family, finances, or how to raise children.
3. Unequal Yoke.
Thirdly, you must not ignore the unequal yoke in your relationship if encountered especially if you are dating an unbeliever which you shouldn’t be doing, anyway as a professing Christian.
2 Corinthians 6:14, says that we must not be equally yoked with unbelievers which is especially true when it comes to relationships as a spirit controlling unbelievers is different from that of true Christians.
If you find yourself unequally yoked in a relationship, you need to take serious action to end that relationship and stop thinking you can change that person as only God can do that.
Sadly, many people don’t heed his advice of not being unequally yoked in relationships and wonder why they end up with an abusive partner in marriage, especially women. Don’t do this to yourself and date within your Christian tribe.
Check: 7 Main Dangers That Come With Unequally Yoked Relationships.
4. Love Language Incompatibility.
Another red flag you must not ignore if you are a Christian single who is dating or courting in a godly relationship is love language compatibility.
Yes, there is such a thing as love language compatibility as that’s what will make you feel loved in a relationship or future godly marriage.
I can’t imagine marrying a person who can’t speak my love language. Otherwise, what am I trying to achieve in life?
You are shooting yourself in the foot doing so. It’s why early in your relationship you must tell your partner how you want to be loved.
If you end up marrying a person who can’t speak your love language, you will never feel loved in that marriage relationship for the rest of your life. I am sure you don’t want to end up in such a predicament.
5. Temperament Incompatibility.
This is another crucial warning you must not know if you desire to marry a godly wife or godly husband that you will easily get along with in all things.
Temperament is the only thing in your current relationship and future marriage that will determine how well you’ll get along even as a Christian couple, especially when disagreements come.
Even if you are a Christian, you must understand that every person’s temperament is unique which affects a person’s personality and how they handle things like anger or conflicts in a relationship which will become crucial if you marry.
If you have incompatible temperaments, even if you are Christians, there is no way you will truly get along which will make it impossible for you to be together long-term as you will just not agree on many things.
6. Character Flaws.
Another red flag you must not ignore as a Christian single during dating is the character flaws of a person you are in a relationship with which may be detrimental to your wellbeing.
Yes, no one is perfect and we all have flaws but certain character flaws just cross the red line which you must not ignore such as abusive tendencies if you spot them.
Just because we aren’t perfect isn’t an excuse to tolerate abusive behavior. This is why you must be clear to your partner early on in your dating journey about what things you can and can’t tolerate from your partner.
If you spot character flaws in your partner that are a deal breaker to you such as extremely abusive behavior, talk about it and if they refuse to change, leave such a person if you don’t want to end up in an abusive marriage later on.
7. Disrespect.
Disrespect is another important red flag you must not know during dating if you notice your partner doesn’t respect or value you the way they ought to.
Respect is a vital component of every successful relationship and later on marriage. This is especially true if you are a godly man seeking a godly wife who respects and submits to your headship in a Christian marriage.
It’s why Ephesians 5:33 admonishes wives to respect and revere their husbands in a godly marriage as respect is vital to man as that makes a man feel loved by his woman or wife.
Men, too must honor their wives as well because respect is a two-way thing. Never be with a person who disrespects you as it shows they don’t love you at all.
8. Anger Issues.
Anger issues are things you must not ignore in a relationship. If you are at a stage in life where you want a life partner to marry, you need to choose a godly person with good anger management skills.
Poor anger management is the reason why many people say and do horrible things to their partners they never meant to do.
It’s why Proverbs 22:24 says to not make friends with an angry man. Anger on its own isn’t sinful. It’s how you express it that matters.
If you are with a partner who freaks out at any little thing in your relationship and threatens to kill or physically harm you, I think you need to start planning your escape, fast.
Lack of foresight on this crucial red flag is the reason why many end up with physically or verbally abusive spouses.
If you have anger problems, pray about it so that Jesus Christ delivers you from demonic anger that may be threatening your relationships.
9. Forgiveness Issues.
Similar to the anger issues discussed previously, the issue of forgiveness in your relationship as you date each other as a Christian couple isn’t something you must sweep under the rug.
If the partner you are dating has a hard time letting go and forgiving the offenses you commit against them, it’s a sure sign that person doesn’t love you at all and that God’s love isn’t in that person’s heart.
Ephesians 4:32 tells us that just as God via Christ’s sake has forgiven us, so we must forgive others who offend us in words or actions as that will show God’s love is truly in our hearts.
You can’t say you love your partner if you can’t forgive them of their wrongs by extending grace to them.
Understand that even as Christians in a godly relationship, offenses will come which is why forgiveness is vital as we are not perfect.
10. Spiritual Incompatibility.
Lastly, spiritual incompatibility on issues of faith and doctrinal issues is another red flag you must not ignore in your relationship if it comes up.
This is why early on as you start dating each other for marriage, you both need to be honest with each other about where you stand on vital spiritual and doctrinal issues.
I am saying this because it will be a major issue in your marriage especially if both of you go to different denominations with different teachings and doctrines on certain topics. Or if you come from different religions.
You may find out that you may not agree doctrinally on certain matters. If that’s the case, you must resolve that and when that’s not possible, then I think you are just a wrong fit for each other, period.
Check: 10 Graceful Ways You Can End An Unequally Yoked Relationship.
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Conclusion.
I hope the above 10 red flags in Christian dating you mustn’t ignore will now help you to be aware of the abusive behaviors not to tolerate so as not to end up in marital misery.
Pray about what you have read so that you don’t make the mistakes others have made by not heeding the red flags God showed them earlier and are now suffering in miserable marriages.
In closing, if this post has blessed you, let me know in the comments below, and don’t forget to share as you leave using the right share icon. God bless and date wisely.
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